The Grace of God Upon My Life Is Not Dependent Upon Me

http://dbmedia.crossrhythms.co.uk/audio/mp3/11743-6.mp3

This song has been a great comfort to me in the last two to three weeks, which have probably been the hardest and most faith stretching for me for a very very long time. Many things have been happening, at home with my mum, as well as at work, and even in ministry.

At work, things have been chaotic to say the least; my boss has left as a result of politics at the highest levels of the organisation, leaving a huge vacuum to fill. The burden has in some ways fallen to me to fill that gap, and it has been challenging to deal with continuity issues, and also handling people's expectations. In some ways, I've been left with a no-win situation where there does not seem to be any easy solutions. One way or the other, its going to hurt...

But I really thank God for the last couple of days which have been a tremendous outpouring of His blessings and grace upon me. I have been so encouraged by so many people who email, sms me, and even call me from so far away (thanks Sharon!) to chat and to encourage me to hang in there. I was in many ways at the end of my tether, and honestly, last week was probably the longest week of my working life, and most emotionally draining as well. In the midst of trying to keep the office running, and doing business as usual, and having to deal with personnel issues...whew.

But as I said, God has been so amazing, bringing people into my life from all over the group (literally worldwide!) giving me their support and good wishes. And most of all, from my own team, who have been truly truly fantastic...it has been a tremendously humbling experience to know that especially in my weakness God is ever present, and stronger than any challenge I can face. It has been through this time that I've really understood what it means to give thanks in all circumstances. I've come back from work frustrated, depressed, withdrawn and tired, and Elena has been a pillar of strength and comfort for me, praying for me and with me, and encouraging me with God's word.

The crisis is not over yet, but I believe the worst has passed, once I've realised that GOD is in control, and that's all that matters. In some ways, I'm still apprehensive about what is to come, but more so, I am comforted, knowing that I am not facing these challenges alone.

Ps 57 has been a great source of comfort to me as well in this period, to know that in all things, we can hide in the shadow of His wings. Our God is indeed an awesome God!